Resisting to put you on my shit list 

took time, which seems silly now

being that you seldom exist 

outside a realm where you and I

reunite in a REM fueled fantasy

that always ends with you turning

away from me without hesitation.

with your enviable rekcless confinence. 

Now all that remains is memory,

flicked away from the mind 

and banished to the back of my head

only to surface in sleep, where 

realize that your eyes will never

come too meet mine the same way

I still look at you

through these dream dazed, half-awake

moments where we replicate the first time

we held

our gaze-

your liquid pools,

my evolving irises.

 I become a cliché,

my love life ruined; no one else

ever comes close to that electricity.

So I find myself settling for less

with a lukewarm feeling 

because I understood the best part of you

and you left by giving me the worst. 

When I am awake I want to ask

if you knew what part of me was

the best part of me, too.