when they find someone for me

a voice inside me disagrees and says

try not to take it personally

I don’t know what I want anymore

I’m not ready for another loss

I am in love with me I’m whole

when in reality I know

it’s dangerous to be alone

for me, at least -I sink too quick

in to an ether, moving slow

embracing the dull senses so

my mind can lead me-

feeding on my life force

fueling a machine that pours

myself out mechanically

fine tuned for an environment

of emotion without feeling

a well-oiled hand stamping

out words, afraid their meaning

will stop if I start up again

in the world so when they say

are you ready for it?

I try not to be